The Totem ...

Monday, February 28, 2011

Suppose you are fighting.

At many a point in the fight, one party might feel: "Oh, God, this is all wrong! this is unnecessary, I want to stop this fighting!"

And he blurts out a common place: "I'm sorry, lets talk this through?"

But does it get through? No, it goes like: "What do you mean you are sorry?! you were supposed to ... "

What is happening? The common place message does not have anything on it to differentiate it from the countless rigmarole that is being exchanged back and forth in the fight. The mundane sound packet carrying the message takes a direct hit on the now charged up firewalls of the Ego that is fighting and is destroyed to pieces before making an inch of progress into the Self hiding behind it.

How to deal with this?

Enter the 'code word of truce'. Which should be a minimal, quirky, absurd sounding word, that has nothing to do with being sorry, or fighting, or listening to each other. But it should be unique, to you, something you can feel, but others can't, something to help you get back to reality, which is the real you hiding, behind the fighting Ego.

Like a Totem.

'Open Sesame'.

Now you know that when that word is uttered, all the charged up personal firewalls of the fighting Ego are supposed to let that sound packet through, unaltered, directly to the Self. The message means,

"I'm dropping my fighting Ego. I'm ready to listen to you, the real you. Let's cancel the fight."

And you are supposed to tell me what exactly you really felt or are feeling.

And I'm supposed to listen to that, with 'brutal honesty'.

It takes a certain level of conquest over the Ego to make this work :-)

Dancing with the ...

Monday, February 14, 2011

A soulmate is someone who
has locks to fit our keys,
and keys to fit our locks.
When we feel safe enough to
open the locks, our truest
selves step out and we can
be completely and honestly
who we are; we can be loved
for who we are and not for who
we are pretending to be.
Each unveils the best part
of the other. No matter what
else goes wrong around us,
with that one person we're
safe in our own paradise.
When we are two balloons, and
together our direction is up,
chances are we've found
the right person.
Our soulmate is the one
who makes life come to life.

-- Richard Bach

Gender Bias ...

Thursday, February 10, 2011

... :-)

Black and White ...

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

are they? ... :-/