The Angel's Call ...

Saturday, October 22, 2005


Angel with her trumpet, Victoria memorial, Kolkata.

When you take life, melt it, let it drip into cold water, thread the frozen droplets and form a string of thus derived glass beads, what do you see?

Do you see a bead-string of a treacherous, sickening, burdensome ordeal occasionally dotted with glistening glass beads of happiness, splendor and beauty? Or do you see a bead-string of an elevating, beautiful, rising, energetic magnificence occasionally dotted with apathy, sufferings and misery?

No, am not talking about counting the beads to arrive at a conclusion. But rather about the the sense of permanence, or sense of foundation that we attribute to life, abstractly, and often unconsciously.

I kind of sense, though maybe am paranoid, that most of mankind is conditioned , by numerous forces, to believe that life is not so beautiful to begin with, and that yeah, you try hard, you can achieve happiness, but yeah, your base is misery, from which you should try to get out, and of course, we will help you with that.

Take religions - quite strong elements with their mass influence - and most of them evolved to proclaim that you are originally sinners, or that many of the things you would do can be sins, that sins cause the misery that you are in, and to submit to the supreme authority for redemption, for the promised grandeur, and be thankful that you thus got redeemed.

Religions are not the sole, but just some, such conditioners, that create this image of a miserable lot trying hard to achieve splendor, happiness, well-being.

Would there be an orange color day, ever in the horizon? When the world is won over by a philosophy of life that says its beautiful, that misery is not permanence but just aberrant patches, that mankind is not a miserable lot having to try hard to be good.

Berserk ...

Friday, October 21, 2005


Horse on a brass relief.

Sometimes its like a wild horse running amok in a vast ranch, defying the many attempts to rein him in. One rouge, intense, processor hungry thread running berserk in my brain, never relenting, never letting the neurons to relax. It feeds on all the energy that my body can channel into them, and is never quite quenched nonetheless. Not having a thought train of its own, it acts as a hosting artifact for any, hoping from one thought train to another, randomly, as if its sole purpose is to just keep my brain burning.

Do I catch it ever ? I do, and only then I feel, for a few minutes, what being peaceful is. But it takes a lot, and my hold weakens, and it runs loose again.

And I fall into sleep, tired.

The Oracle ....

Friday, October 21, 2005



"I'm sorry son," ... The Oracle told Neo ... "but in your next life, maybe."

light left on the sky ...

Saturday, October 08, 2005


Barbed wire against a faded wall.

He hated dusk, and the faint light left on the sky then. He hated it, for it was the only window that split the day, the unreal day that was the mirage of being, like being submersed in water with an air supply tube in your mouth, and the night, the unreal night that was the mirage of getting lost, like floating weightless in an air-tight dark chamber. But the dusk, the twilight was horrifyingly real whichever way he tried to look at it, and he hated it for being so real.

Mystery Smiles ...

Saturday, August 06, 2005



How many emotions can a human being express? :-)

Can we assume that all emotions felt by a human being are expressible? If that is not the case, what is the connection between the expression she has when she is feeling those un-expressible feelings, and the feelings themselves? Does the influence of 'feelings' on 'expressions' get disconnected when un-expressible feelings are encountered, like the clutch of the Kinetic when it senses the engine can't push the bike? Maybe people use a controllable clutch in contrary when they want the 'expression' to be something not at all in line with what they are 'feeling'?

And again, do we have names for all emotions that are feelable? Aren't they rather like a spectrum, just like the spectrum of visible light, gradually varying, upon which we have imposed labeled diffusions of color names? And in the case of emotions, I don't even know if we can postulate them to be linearly arranged, as in the light spectrum.

Did civilizations not having connections with India talk about 'Nava Rasas' or the nine basic feelings? Are they like orthogonal eigen vectors which when combined can span the entire multidimensional space of emotions, if there is such a thing?

Are there emotions which can't be felt? :-D

Solomon's Song ...

Tuesday, August 02, 2005



Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the fields,
Let us lodge in the villages;
Let us rise early and go out into the vineyards;
And see if the vines have budded,
whether the grape blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom.
And there, I will give thee my love.

-- Song of Songs 7:12-13, The Old Testament.

Calvin Ball ... :-)

Monday, August 01, 2005



Anybody wanna play ? .... :-D